THURSDAY 3RD AUGUST 2017
Today we set of all of us (that's Mandy, Dezni, the boys, Nick and me) to West Yorkshire to stay in a travel lodge and do shopping, going out and meeting friends and family. Dorothy was a nightmare travelling but that was probably due to the fact that I ate a curry yesterday evening. We got checked in to the travel lodge then went off to Sainsburys to get some shopping (highlight for Kyle and me if I am honest as we don't have a Sainsbury on Anglesey and I do miss it). We then went to the pub next to the travel lodge where we met my friend Dawn who I've not seen for ages and we had a really good catch up. I needed to change Dorothy whilst we were in the pub and I went to the disability loo that was locked. I knocked on the door and there was nothing and I then remembered that I have a universal key fr all disability loo's in my bag that I got from the lovely people I get all my Stoma kit from. It's really heavy and reminds me of the magic key from the childrens school reading books that features Biff and Chip and the magic key. Anyway my key turned out to be a magic key in that it opened the door. It's the first time i had used it and felt like another step forward crazy as that sounds. Dawn taught Kyle the Ketchup game where basically you build a wall with ketchup then throw things at it to knock the wall down even though there are glasses and plates on the table and ketchup is likely to go anywhere!! Nick took the boys off to bed and the girls went off to watch their soaps so Dawn and I could really catch up. It was super and even better that she barely mentioned Dorothy, really refreshing as it is often her that people ask me about first and foremost.
FRIDAY 4TH AUGUST 2017
We went to a petting farm today with an adventure playground where we met Nick's dad Stewart and his nephew Connor which was lovely. The boys loved it as did us all and it was all going wonderfully until I smelled the smell that is commonly known as a Dorothy leak and sure enough shit was everywhere. I dashed off to the loo that wasn't a disability loo so i had to change Dorothy in a tiny cubicle which isn't easy but hey I managed and even managed to clean my jeans up a little. Thank goodness I'd not worn white trousers. I could still smell the smell though.
Nick then went off with the boys to go and see his Mum and so me and the girls went to visit my lovely Mama and on the way sure enough Dorothy leaked again. It's starting to get very tedious as well as worrying as it impedes my day and means i again have to think about what I wear. My Mama is now used to me arriving at her house and dashing straight off to the bathroom to change Dorothy.
It was nice catching up with Mama and then we left to go and get showers back at the travel lodge.
We met Nick and the boys back at the travel lodge and we all got showers and changed then we headed into town where there was a food and drink festival on. It was amazing with live music, loads of people and different stalls with every imaginable kind of food. True to form we were the only people with young children (BAD parents) but everyone homed in on the boys, especially Kyle's wheelchair and his flashing wheels, and the boys had a ball. They loved the music, hustle and bustle and everything that was going on. The girls loved it too and enjoyed trying lots of different foods. We also met loads of people that we hadn't seen for years so it was a real blast from the past too.
SATURDAY 6TH AUGUST 2017
We checked out of the travel lodge and went off to Sainsburys for a late breakfast then we went shopping, for a drink then we left to go over to my lovely nephew Dan's birthday BBQ in the afternoon after picking my sister Juliet up on the way. Well we got there, still in separate cars adn i needed to change Dorothy as soon as we got there. It's hard getting somewhere and everyone wanting to say hi to you all and i just dash off saying i need to sort Dorothy although at least everyone now knows her. We then spent a very stressful few hours with the boys who were tired and cranky and basically foul. I felt like the worst parent ever as the boys ignored my 'please don't do that' and my 'stop right there'. They screamed and I mean head back and screamed, they had tantrums and they fought. I just wanted to sit in a corner and drink myself into oblivion but of course I was driving so couldn't have a drop. In the end we left, with the girls and the boys clutching hot dogs, with us apologising for our little beasts and off we went for the journey home once we'd dropped off Juliet. Yep, Dorothy leaked on the way home and to be fair I had got beyond caring and opened the window of the car and continued as though it was your regular journey with the thought that I must get in touch with Jackie the Stoma nurse.
TUESDAY 8TH AUGUST 2017
Well today we had the meeting from hell with the Occupational therapist, her manager, Sam our Earth Angel otherwise known as the Neuromuscular Care Advisor who is a real Godsend as far as I am concerned and someone from planning called Mike, Nick, the boys and me. It was regarding the major adaptations we need to have done for the boys such as having bedrooms with hoists in and a wet room with an adjustable bath etc. We have now spent 15 months getting nowhere. I won't bore you with the details (not sure if I already have previously) but it has been a nightmare that I could well do without and that I just want to get resolved. They want to kick my son Theo out of his annexe in order to use that (it would make a bedroom and that's it) yet we have a huge workshop joined onto the house made of stone with water and electricity that is ideal. Anyway, we went round in circles, I got angry then emotional and I think we got somewhere though I don't believe anything that comes out of anyone's mouth anymore. Meanwhile the boys share a bedroom with Toby in a huge padded bed. They wake each other up and are awake between3-5 hours every night! Kyle needs carrying up the stairs and will be 5 years of age at Christmas so it's not ideal and with Dorothy, I am scared of getting a hernia carrying him. Sorry, I'm ranting but this has been a really emotive subject with me as 15 months to get absolutely bloody nowhere! I think people should be sacked personally!
WEDNESDAY 9TH AUGUST 2017
Kyle went for his x-ray today and woo hoo, his plaster cast has been taken off. The poor little chap is walking like he has a wooden leg but then he's not used his muscles for weeks so it must be very strange for him. It's great for him to have had it taken off as it means we can do so much more and especially as Kyle is now spending more and more time in his wheelchair. Eventually he will be in it full time and even though we have always known that, it doesn't make it in the slightest bit easier. Kyle is such a trooper though as he takes everything in his stride and his glass is always half full (like his Mummy, apart from I drink it too quickly).
THURSDAY 10TH AUGUST 2017
Today I had an appointment at the optician. i know my eyes have changed and i hate that I wake in the morning and feel almost blind as i cannot focus and everything is blurred. I can't even get a morning update on Facebook for goodness sake, that's tragic!!! So I have decided to go for the contact lenses (I keep calling them optic lenses) the ones that my sister Jannat uses. She keeps them in for a month without taking them out so I've opted to ask for them.
The optician started my eye test and of course Dorothy had to rear her butt ugly head and sure enough started farting as he's looking into my right eye with his telescopic thingy. I just muttered that I had a colostomy and I was sorry and i tolerated the last twenty minutes of the appointment. I think he felt almost as uncomfortable as I did bless him. I opted for the contact lenses which my optician hadn't heard about!! I explained very simply to him that my sister used them and she wouldn't lie as she i a consultant clinical pyschologist ha. I can't quite believe I said it myself, believe me. I have them on order now.
SATURDAY 12TH AUGUST 2017
Today Nick went off to help my sister move house over in West Yorkshire so I had everyone at home myself, along with the ever troublesome Dorothy. She takes more looking after on a bad day than both boys put together. We did okay apart from poor little Toby was on a very sick day and threw up after every meal. It's something he is having tests for but meanwhile it is awful for him. He even threw up in the bath in the evening much to his brothers disgust. I did however point out to Kyle though that to be fair he does poo in the bath sometimes which is equally not fair on Toby! Oh the joys of kids and Dottie. Dorothy to be fair hasn't leaked in a few days and has just farted which we all do (though some of you can hold it in and I don't have that privilege). I enjoy dealing with things without Nick, it makes me feel like a bit of a superwoman and really independent. I can get so organised and get so much done when I know I am doing it alone but then I imagine that's the case for most people. I do feel like the old me is coming back though and that's a good feeling. I do feel incredibly tired though and can't bear it. I am just so knackered.
SUNDAY 13TH AUGUST 2017
Today is my eldest boy's birthday, he's 29 and in Vietnam. It's the first year that I won't be spending some time with him on his birthday or just before or after it and it feels wrong. I have wept buckets which is crazy and of course I've blamed Dorothy for me being an emotional wreck. I figure that I am owed at least that, the privilege of blaming her for anything and everything. I've spoken to Ollie and he's missing family on his birthday but having an amazing time. He's living life in the fast lane and he does right. None of us know what's around the corner and I know myself that nothing should ever be put off for another time as if it can be done now then get on and do it.I hve a bucket list that changes every year and it's great for doing things that make me feel alive, that push my buttons and scare me. At the moment I have a sky dive on my list and to have a book published; i am writing several books at the moment but don't get much time on them though I've only two chapters to do on one then I am going to put it out as an E book so watch this space!!!
MONDAY 14TH AUGUST 2017
I woke this morning with one side of my mouth looking like I have stored two months worth of wine in it (that's a lot) and a pain running through my mouth and head that hurts like hell. I know I have a tooth abscess and luckily I have some anti biotics that I picked up in Madrid so I can start on those. I've not got a dentist as I've not been able to register with anyone through the NHS so I have just phoned the emergency dentist and have an emergency appointment for tomorrow evening!!! How is that an emergency appointment but having said that I am still immensely grateful for the NHS. Also, I have co-codomol and my anti biotics and wine so I am sure that I can deal with the pain and angst. I am still feeling tired all of the time and like I am dragging myself around so everyone keeps telling me that I am run down hence I have an abscess. I don't really care how I got it, I'm just hacked off that I have got it!
TUESDAY 15TH AUGUST 2017
The pain in my mouth is not good but the swelling has gone down a little so that's something. It's the two day Anglesey Show starting today which Nick and I have been to before and really enjoyed. Roley my very dear friend is a member and gets two passes every year and this year she has given them to us so we are going. I decided that I may as well be in pain at a show as at home so off we went with the boys. The weather was amazing and we had a great day, with shopping, animals, beer tent, food and entertainment. The boys loved it and we spent a fortune at all of the stalls. The only downside was when I needed to change Dorothy and there were only the porta loo kind of things so I yet again had to change our Dorothy in a cubicle. I manage ot very well now and use wet wipes that are unscented and I hang my bag round my neck and use the door handle to hang my poo bag on and so on. I now count myself as a real professional Stoma bag changer.
By the time we got home I was knackered and literally couldn't keep going so I ended up going to bed and by the time I had got up I had missed my dental appointment so I had to phone them and explain and they made me another appointment for Thursday! Served me right I suppose.
THURSDAY 17TH AUGUST 2017
Today was an eventful day as in the morning I went to collect my contact lenses and foound them quite easy to get along with even after feeling really nervous about using them and trying them. I came away with them to use at home building up the amount of time I use them. Luckily Dorothy behaved though the optician remembered me by name straight away. I'm not sure if that's because I am one of the only 'brown' people around here or because of farting Dorothy!!
In the evening I went to the emergency dentist about half an hour away and it was bloody awful as I was sat in a waiting room with about eight other people and Dorothy was a complete farting nightmare. People kind of looked but then looked at their feet and so it was manageable but there was a little girl of about eight or nine and she said that I was making rude noises. I found myself glaring at her and hoping that the dentist filled all her teeth without any kind of injection! When the dental assistant called her name she jumped up shouting 'that's me, yey' and she positively ran into the dentists room. I turned to the woman next to me and said 'I bet she doesn't come out bouncing like that' and she just looked at me with a face that said 'what a bitch' on it. Oops.
I did have an abscess and the dentist was bemused that I had been taking co-codomol and that I had anti-biotics from Madrid. He was ever so nice and gave me stronger anti-biotics and told me about some dentists that he thought may be taking on new clients.
FRIDAY 18TH AUGUST 2017
Today we went to Dezni and Mandys open day at work and the day service, taking Roley with us too. It was really good and we chatted to lots of people and the boys loved getting lots of attention. There was all kinds of things going on so we had a lovely time. It was quite funny though as a couple of people asked me if I was now better from 'my trouble' which made me chuckle. I am very blunt and just ask if they mean my Stoma. I enjoy seeing the shock on peoples faces that I am so forthright with it. It's something that people almost whisper at me at times.
We left the open day and I dropped Roley off and we went on then to see a pony that I am thinking of getting for my horse to have as company. I had another horse until March this year when I very sadly and suddenly lost him and Harley the horse left has been lost without his mate. He looks so sad all the time but then it's not natural for horses to be alone. I saw a little horse advertised looking for a home that is 24 years old and so we went to look at her and she's lovely, very chilled and the owner is lovely too. We agreed that we will take her and hopefully it will all work out. Another animal for our sanctuary. Heather the woman that owns Bryony the pony added me on Facebook and read my blog and sent me the nicest message. In fact that reminds me I've had some lovely messages from people about my blog plus people telling me their stories and people asking me questions. That is what I wanted and it's great to know that its working. If it will make a difference to just one person it will be worth it. Gosh that sounds so bloody corny doesn't it. Really I want to become famous and make a mint and bugger off to an exotic country and pay someone else to change Dorothy for me!!
WEDNESDAY 23RD AUGUST 2017
Today Toby had his assessment for swallowing with regards to him being sick all the time and him being unable to keep any food down. Whilst I was there with him at the hospital I smelled a smell and I can't believe I am saying this that I thought it was Toby so I said to the therapist that I would go and change him. I went to change him and of course his nappy was fine. Boy did I have egg on my face as I had to go back to the therapist and say oops not him but me. Please can you just keep an eye on Toby whilst I go and change Dorothy and then I will be back with you. Oh the joy.
In the afternoon I had a review with the manager of Shared Lives who I 'work for' and it went well. She is really good in that she just gets on with stuff and doesn't really ask about things like Dorothy, just how I am doing and I appreciate that.
Once the manager had left I more or less set straight off for Yorkshire with Kyle to go and stay with my lovely Mama; she's not been too well and I miss her loads so I wanted to spend time with her. Kyle was very excited about being back with all the shops and for seeing his granny Audrey whom he adores. We arrived in really good time and went straight to the shops then to the pub to meet my friend Jools for tea whom I've not seen for ages, way too long. It was great to see her and we had a lovely time catching up and Kyle was good and was happy to see Jools too. Again, my friends who know me, I mean really know me ask very little about Dorothy as she's not really me or a part of me, she is just something that happened. People deal with things differently and I understand that.
We left the pub and went to my Mama's house where I more or less got Kyle straight to bed after obviously dashing off to change Dorothy. She had leaked on the journey over to Yorkshire so I'd had to not only change her but my clothes as well. At least I had several changes of clothes with me. I've no idea why she keeps leaking every so often, she seems to do so many days of being good then so many days of leaking, it doesn't make sense.
THURSDAY 24TH AUGUST 2017
Mama, Kyle and me went to the farm shop today and we had lunch there, it was great. I realised today how homed into the toilets I am everywhere which is really freaky. Years ago I trained as a Close Protection Officer, a bodyguard in layman terms. I did some undercover work and became paranoid about where I sit in public places and I am still the same in that if we go to a restaurant I need to sit in a certain place and cannot sit with my back to a door and I need to know where the fire exits are. It drives poor Nick mad as we go out to eat and we will be seated somewhere and then I can't cope with where we are sat and I ask to be moved and it all gets a bit embarrassing. so you can see how it's freaky now to be looking out the toilets when I go anywhere, particularly the disability toilets.
We left the farm shop and travelled over to see my sisters new house which is lovely. Kyle however was far from lovely and played up something shocking but I think he was just tired. It was good to see Juliet and her dog Bree who used to be our dog. I of course tried her bathroom out with Dorothy and gave it five stars for convenience. I reckon that could be my next job, giving stars out to public loos for people with a whole range of disabilities and for convenience, cleanliness etc. It matters!
I travelled home the following day and got home mid afternoon with Kyle. We had a good trip back and the poor little chap was so tired that he slept most of the way home.I hate saying goodbye to my Mama but it's been lovely spending time with her and I have arranged to go back next week to see her.
SATURDAY 26TH AUGUST 2017
This morning we set off early to Chester Zoo with the boys to celebrate Kyle being with us for two years. We had bought him a couple of presents but wanted to do something special so the zoo it is. Theo, his partner and her little boy came along too but in a different car and my niece Cerys came along too with her partner Chris and daughter Evelyne who is 6 years old and whom Kyle adores. We had an amazing day and so much fun. We spent the we day there and were knackered by the time we got home well into the evening. Dorothy behaved relatively well with just two changes throughout the day in it has to be said tip top loo's. Kyle didn't have much understanding of what we were celebrating but he really enjoyed it as did young Toby who loves animals. I will add photos at some point from the day.
SUNDAY 27TH AUGUST 2017
Today we decided to have a fairly lazy day at home. I am still feeling really tired and borderline exhausted at times. I am anaemic and need iron but still feel more tired than that. Anyway, we decided to try and catch up with some things and let the boys have a quieter day. However we decided to hire a trailer and go and collect our new pony Bryony which we did. It was quite stressful as we hired a trailer and had to go up a narrow lane and it was all very fraught but we did it and brought Bryony home. Harley is in love with an older woman now and adores her, I can see the spark back in his eyes so it was the right thing to do and the boys will also be able to potter about on Bryony. The rest of the day was spent chilling mainly and me not feeling too great.
I have been walking a lot lately trying to lose weight and get fitter, Nick, the boys and me go to Spain in three and a half weeks and I am determined to drop a dress size so I am aiming at doing 4 miles a day. It's working well and I am sometimes getting more miles in. I will let you know if I manage it. Dorothy has been a nightmare today but Nick and I had a lovely Chinese meal last night and I think that, no, rephrase, I know that it really didn't agree with Dorothy and I have felt so poorly with it. I am in danger of running out of Dorothy bags!!! Ah well, I will add it to the list of foods that she doesn't like. Right, I need to go to bed so I will catch you another time, hopefully more frequently. Stay happy and remember life is to be lived.
MONDAY 28TH AUGUST 2017
Well today i managed to get up early and Nick and I went off with the boys and Theo's stepson Oliver to a place near us that has lots of play areas, fairy houses, a train t ride on and animals to pet. We had a lovely time and the boys loved it, apart from having a few melt downs they were really well behaved. The girls came with us too and enjoyed it and love spending time with the little ones and watching them enjoy thiings. They also enjoy petting the animals and Mandy even had a bounce on a trampoline. We had lunch there and spent hours there. Toby is very sensitive and is becoming extremely autistic as in displaying a lot of autistic traits and he doesn't cope very well with change, anything new, certain textures, his buggy going backwards, sitting backwards on the train, going into tunnels, the noise of aeroplanes flying overhead (this happens frequently where we live as we have the RAF base nearby that train weekly). Anyway, Kyle went on a donkey ride at the farm and we saw Toby watching him enjoy himself so I said that I would try him on a donkey. It was lovely because Toby loved it and his face was a picture. He did scream though when it was time to come off. It all bodes well for riding Bryony!
by the time we left, I had changed Dorothy twice and then on the way home she decided to leak. It's such a nuisance as by the time we have got everybody into the house and sorted, I feel dirty and grubby (probably because I am). It meant a full change and a shower which given the boys were tired and grouchy wasn't the perfect time but needs must. I am lucky that Nick is around a lot so I can get sorted.
Pooing at this rate also tends to take it out of me leaving me feeling tired and drained and also a bit sore. The skin around Dorothy has been sore lately too but it's a vicious circle because she is pooing so much that I daren't leave her without a bag on hence then my skin never gets to breathe. I should get in touch with the Stoma nurses really though the last time I left a message for them nobody got back to me. I know they are incredibly busy though.
TUESDAY 29TH AUGUST 2017
Today both boys had an appointment at Alder Hey hospital, a general appointment/health check up but with some particular things to discuss. Kyle is due to start steroids that should keep him walking longer. We have had so many problems getting Kyle's chicken pox vaccine that he needs to have before he starts steroids so we thought he would have been starting them months ago. Today Kyle will have blood tests to hopefully find that finally he is immune to Chicken Pox. We also wanted to talk to the Dr about Toby and flying, I was brave enough to ask if there was a sedative we could give him (or us) but alas, Toby shouldn't have a sedative as it is a muscle relaxant so not good for him so guess it will be just me then. We discussed Toby and him being sick but we have a gastro appointment soon back at Alder Hey so we will know more then. The boys were really good as it was a long appointment with lots of different pars to it such as physio and bloods and the pharmacy. We are trying Toby on Melatonin to see if it helps him to sleep as his sleep is becoming almost non existent.
Before the hospital appointment we stopped at the place also in Liverpool, to collect our wonderful new double wheelchair. Sadly when we got there it stil needed a few bits adjusting after we had tried the boys in it. Nick wanted to take it to the hospital and bring it back later but i said to leave it for them to get things done to it. The only thing was that we didn't have the pram or wheelchair as we had thought we'd be using the double wheelchair. We ended up leaving it much to Nick's disgust as he is like a child at Christmas when it comes to things like this and was so excited about it, as was I but not like him. We left and then got very lost on the way to the hospital and Nick got stressed. I needed to change Dorothy and it was all a bit stressy. By the time we got into the hospital we were bout ten minutes late and we ended up going straight through to have the boys seen to so I didn't get to change Dorothy. It was about an hour and a half later before I managed to change Dorothy. We then had a drink and left to go to pick up the wheelchair. We both felt knackered and quite low after the appointment; it's hard having tohear about the boys and their medical condition because it isn't something we ordinarily think about, we just get on with life and the boys are the boys but the hospital makes reality hit hard.
Anyway, we went for the wheelchair which we were delighted with only to find that as we tried to put it in the car that it wouldn't fold up properly so still needed some altering. It is a new design as one has not been made before so there were bound to be snags. we ended up leaving it then heading off to Smyth's toy shop where we had promised Kyle he could choose a toy as he had been a good boy, then we were going to Pizza Hut for tea as we always do that as a treat for the boys when we go to Alder Hey (life in the fast lane). By the time we left there it was about 9pm and we had to drive all the way home. I felt absolutely exhausted and quite poorly but luckily the boys slept and went more or less straight into bed when we got home.
The following day I ended up sleeping most of the day away as I felt wiped out and still poorly. Dorothy seems very unsettled at th moment though my bags have stopped leaking at least.
THURSDAY 31ST AUGUST 2017
Today I felt fighting fit and was up at the crack of dawn walking my 4 miles wit hthe dogs before Kyle was even up. I feel so lucky to be able to walk out by the sea, often the only person around, watching the waves, enjoying the sound of the water and the sea breeze. I am lucky and I know it and feel it every day.
In the afternoon Nick, the boys and me went off to look at 3 geese that need re-homing, because we have so much spare time! Dorothy was quite vocal whilst we were there but luckily the noise of the geese drowned out Dorothy, ha! We ended up agreeing to take the geese who are very beautiful and have been hand reared. A little titbit of information now, geese can live to be 30 years of age!! It may come up in trivial pursuit, you never know!
FRIDAY 1ST AUGUST 2017
Today Kyle and I set off to Yorkshire to go and stay with my lovely Mama. Kyle was a nightmare in the morning before we set off and had several meltdowns and screaming fits before he'd even had breakfast but bless him, we had driven for fifteen minutes and he was spark out. We've had such a busy few days that he was just worn out. We stopped off for a dirty McDonalds then headed off to see Mama. Kyle adores his granny and given that Kyle is crazy about adverts, logos and such, especially the Travel Lodge and Premier Inn, we refer to Grannies house as Granny's Lodge. We arrived and had a drink and caught up then went off shopping and then had tea. I'd managed to change Dorothy in the disabled loo at the services with Kyle watching my every move. It's so funny as he calls her Dorothea! I think that would be a great Sunday name for her. I like that he talks about her as though it is the norm to have a Dorothea, he even said to me that Dorothea was dirty and had done a poo. He laughs when she farts as well. He knows what everything is for and could work with the Stoma nurses that boy.
In the evening Abi came over to Ma's house for dinner and we had a lovely catch up and talked about the wedding that will be happening in just under a year now, my main reason for losing weight and re-vamping myself. I have lost all my confidence since I had Dorothy, I feel like it aged me and I look in the mirror and don't like what I see so I am going to do something about it. I want to lose weight, get fit, do m hair and nails, make an effort and stop letting myself down. When I feel bad about myself I start to lose confidence in everything like meeting people, talking to people and work and especially with Nick and why he is with me. It's crazy because I am the kind of person that normally just 'gets on with it' but then when I start to feel bad about myself and lose confidence I wonder why Nick is with me when he could be with someone young and beautiful. Nick is a lot younger than me, 19 years younger than me to be precise but we get on so well and I love him to pieces and he does me but then this ugly person within rears her head and throws all kinds of doubts into my head. Hey ho.
I digressed. I had a lovely evening with Mama and Abi (Kyle was in bed)and it was so good to have the 3 generations sat around the table. I miss Abi along with her brother Ollie. Ollie will still be travelling at Christmas so it will be the first Christmas that he won't be home with me so this year Abi is going to spend it with her partner Dean (who is lovely) at her home in Leeds. I was very good and didn't cry until much later on my own. I cannot imagine Christmas without all of my children together, I really can't even though I knew it would happen one day!
MONDAY 4TH SEPTEMBER 2017
I feel a bit wiped out again today after a busy few days but have managed to get up and do my four mile walk with the dogs and then showered and went off to the opticians to gt new glasses and take back my contact lenses that gave me red eye. I cannot believe how much glasses cost, well actually the lenses. I felt like I'd been robbed with my eyes wide open when I left the opticians even though I am having lenses put into my existing sun glasses so I am only buying one pair of frames. I like the frames that I chose though not that much!! Bring back national health specs I say!!
I had an email sent in the afternoon from Muscular Dystrophy UK (MD UK) and it was for a skydive raising money for MDUK. It is one of the things on my bucket list so straight away I looked into it. I downloaded the forms and sure enough one of the things that could be make the skydive a no go for me was of course Dorothy! I felt so hacked off and also a few years ago I fractured some vertebrae in my back. Anyway I gave them a ring and was told to check things out with my GP and get forms signed if it was not a major risk for me to do the skydive. Nick dropped the forms off for me at the doctors and asked if there would be a cost to which he was told i was at the doctors discretion. Luckily the forms have come back with no charge and I can do the skydive, woo hoo. I will be terrified but mostly excited. It will be in March next year so I will be begging you all to sponsor me (warning you now).
TUESDAY 5TH SEPTEMBER 2017
Today was a bad day and another of those where i got out of bed and knew today was not going to be my day. I felt low, had a raging headache and felt like my bones were lead so I went back to bed after sorting Dorothy out and I slept until midday. I then got up and Dorothy was on a day of working over tie again but each Stoma bag was like it contained pure fluid. It's so weird when the bag is like that, it reminds me of one of those de-stressers as it is quite strangely fascinating when you squidge the bag! Yes, lose that thought. Basically Dorothy is shitting through the eye of a needle. That saying was said many years ago by my friend Sue who I was at school with and I thought it was so funny. That and 'it sticks like shit to a blanket'. Odd how things stay with you!
Our holiday to Ibiza is looming and we suddenly realised we don't have a massive luggage allowance and have all of Toby's milk to take that he needs medically (it is a specialist milk) and then we have meds for both of the boys and of course all of Dorothy's kit. I have been advised that I should put some of my Stoma kit in my main luggage but put a lot into my hand luggage in case my suitcase goes missing. I would never have thought of that but it is a good point. So, I will have a lot of kit for Dorothy. Nick very nicely phoned up and asked if Toby and I can have medical baggage allowance, bless that man. Anyway, he managed to get us an extra 6kgs each for our medical stuff, that man did good.I am starting to get a little anxious about the flight and how Dorothy will be and how on earth I will change her in a loo on the flight as they are bloody tiny. I hate them at the best of times and try to avoid going to the loo but if Dorothy needs changing then she needs changing. Actually I just had a thought, I am also anxious about how Toby is going to be and boy can he scream if he isn't happy, it can go on for more than an hour. I have agreed to have Toby on the flight, purely because I think if Toby is upset and anyone says anything when Nick has him, I can see him being hand cuffed off the flight. What I could do is pretend that Dorothy needs changing and spend the flight in the loo. If anyone says anything I can just flash Dorothy at them and make them feel guilty! Mind you, given we are going to Ibiza, I have visions of a lot of people on the flight being on hen or stag do's. Right, I am going to stop thinking about it.
WEDNESDAY 6TH SEPTEMBER 2017
Well today was Kyle's first day at BIG school, a massive thing in his little world and something he was so excited about. He looks adorable in his uniform and very cute. Both Nick and me took him in for his first day at big school and he went in, in his wheelchair. He just takes everything in his stride and I know I need to take a leaf out of his book. He gave both his Daddy and me a big kiss and hug and without a backward glance he was off, talking about Ikea to his support assistant who is amazing with the patience of a saint. I was going off to work and shed a few tears; it's all I seem to do these days, blub. I poke to my boy Ollie yesterday; he's in Vietnam and loves it. I haven't spoken to him for a while and I miss him so much. It was lovely chatting to him and hearing what he is up to and what he is planning to do but again I blubbed which made me really cross with myself. I was also telling him to get a blog sorted as he is such a crazy boy and is doing so much off the beaten track, plus he is doing something that people often talk about doing but never feel brave enough to actually do. He isn't privileged nor has he had anything handed to him on a plate. He worked bloody hard to get the money together as well as selling his treasured camera collection bless him. Anyway, when I was talking to him about the blog I said he should just say it as it is because there is no other way to be and he said that was what he likes about my blog. Yep, it made me cry.
I love that all of my family have been so supportive about Dorothy and have felt like they can talk to me about her and I think, no I know because some have told me, that they are proud of me and that matters. I am very lucky to have such an amazing family, partner, children, siblings, nephews and niece and of course not forgetting my amazing friends. Oh no, I'm blubbing again. I ought to go anyway because it's late but one last thing. I am going to an interview to be a volunteer counsellor for Childline when I get back from Ibiza so I am keeping everything crossed that Dorothy will behave herself in the interview!
I now have a Facebook page to let folks know when I update my blog (I intend updating it much more frequently and would have done but my laptop kept crashing but my very nice other half Nick has got me a new one). I would also like to think that the Facebook page can be used as a bit of a forum for people too to let others know their story or to ask questions etc.
Stay safe and happy xxx
THURSDAY 7TH SEPTEMBER 2017
So, our washer gave up the ghost, probably due to the 4 loads it does daily, mostly my shit stained clothes!! Thank goodness for Vanish, it is such good stuff. Anyway, I'm a few hundred lighter just before we go away on holiday but we have a new washer coming today. In the past I have always just bought a washer thinking about the spin speed but this time I looked at how much stuff it could take and this is 10kgs that is coming today. Oh my gosh, how boring have I become, I definitely need to get out more. Nick plumbed it in for us and we got caught up on about six days worth of clothes! Well actually Nick did. I'm looking after a friends house and dogs, six of them but all lovely. I am back and forth between home and the dogs.
I've decided that Dorothy doesn't like change, she becomes very 'runny' when I am somewhere else which doesn't bode well for Spain but hey I will eat what I want to eat regardless. Dorothy is just going to have to get a grip and get on with it.
SUNDAY 10TH SEPTEMBER 2017
Today i took the dogs out for a really long walk as I am still on my getting fit and losing weight kick. I was miles out on the moorland when I thought that I had stepped in something (I am still not quick on the uptake). Of course it was Dorothy and she had leaked on my jeans and my top. There was nothing I could do so I kept on walking, curing Dorothy calling her a dirty bugger which she is if we are honest. I finally got back with all 6 dogs in the van to go and shower and change.
I then went out for dinner with all of the family and darling Roley, we went locally to Sullivans where the food is lovely and the staff great. They are used to us arriving in our huge group and taking over and they are lovely with the boys. Anyway, we had a lovely lunch which Roley was very naughty and paid for bless her. She is so lovely. Nick left with everyone and Roley and me sat outside and had a drink and a natter and then as we were walking back to the cars, I felt a wet sensation and I smelled a smell. Of course I was wearing a white and beige jumper (there was a definite chill in the air) and o Dorothy couldn't resist and there was poo all over my new jumper (not any old jumper but a Cashmere mix) and my trousers. I was mortified and said a hurried goodbye to Roley, doing a sideways hug so as not to get leaked Dorothy on her. I got home and had another shower and change of clothes.
I then left to go back to my friends house to see to all the dogs and cats and sure enough, on the way back Dorothy decided to leak again. I could smell her on the way back and by the time I got back, it was another shower and change of clothes plus a rinse out of the clothes I'd had on before putting them in the washer. I was so annoyed with Dorothy and we had stern words. It actually got me down as 3 times in one day was too much and reminded me of the days pre-Dorothy. I decided I needed to get in touch with Jacqui the Stoma nurse, especially given that I am going to Spain in just over a week!
MONDAY 11TH SEPTEMBER 2017
Today I phoned the stoma nurse and left a message on the answer machine asking for advice on what I can do regarding Dorothy keep leaking. She will phone me when she is next in the office. I went walking again today with all the dogs and walked miles and Dorothy leaked yet again. It is getting so annoying now and I wonder if I start to carry a spare set of clothe around again with me. It is such a pain and I am worried that this will happen when I am on the plane in a weeks time when I fly to Spain, imagine the smell and embarrassment. How would I explain that one away though I will have the boys with me! Nappies are lethal things!
TUESDAY 12TH SEPTEMBER 2017
Today I have felt so rough. I have a mouth full of ulcers, I have my tooth abscess back and I am sooooo tired. I am also feeling very sorry for myself. I know that I am very run down. Jacqui the Stoma nurse phoned and advid that I use some paste on Dorothy to fill in parts of the Stoma. I have a sunken Stoma. I suppose Stoma's are like belly buttons. Some people have sticky out ones, sunken ones, bobbly ones and so on. Stomas are all different ones and apparently I have a 'downie' Dorothy. There is a kind of dip around her so that causes leaks. Damn that surgeon! Anyway, paste around the areas where my bag leaks will supposedly help and Jacqui is sending me some different kind of wipes out that are more sticky so that my skin will be more 'adhesive' for my stoma bag.
In the afternoon I went for my hair colouring to get rid of all the grey hair so that I look like a Mummy again rather than the boys granny. Niamh my hairdresser s fab and we had such a laugh; she's like a breath of fresh air and very down to earth which I love in a person. My hair instantly made me feel so much better and I love the cut she has done. I feel ready for my holiday though I am debating whether or not to have my nails done. It's not practical with children and animals but I do love that feeling of being a bit glam. I also need to book for my eyebrows doing then I will feel as glam as I'm going to get.
I tried my swimming costumes on today, not feeling brave enough for bikini yet but who knows. Anyway, my swimming cossies felt okay and looked alright. You can see the bulge of Dorothy, but I guess she is family and part of me so I have to get used to it. She is like a extra limb on my body and where I go she goes. If she shows through my costume then that's the way it is. It looked better than I thought it would if I am honest. I also tried my shorts on and was pleased to see that I have lost some weight and things fit me much better. It is a week tomorrow that I go to Spain!!! I can't quite believe that it has rocked around so quickly.
I then spent a while messaging the bestie Jane about our impending holiday to Cuba and after looking into it we decided to cancel. We wer due to go on 4th October and given the hurricane that has devastated so many thousands of people we cancelled. Thomas Cook were very good and paid us back all of our money without any problem. It was Jane my bestie, Theo my birth son and me that were going to Cuba but Theo has now decided that he will go away with his girlfriend, boo hooo, and so Jane and I are looking at what we will do. Do we forget a holiday altogether or book a cheapie and get away for a week or what. We decided to look at what was out there and mostly it was Spain where I am going in a week! I probably sound like a spoiled brat now but we had all paid for over a year for this holiday, paying monthly.
WEDNESDAY 13TH SEPTEMBER 2017
Today I went on a hike with the dogs I am looking after and was messaging Jane about the holiday. Dorothy obviously likes shitting on the moor land when I am out with the dogs as yet again she leaked and I went home wet through from the rain, cold fro the wind and smelly from a leaky Dorothy. Oh the joys of being me. The skin around my Stoma is very sore and blistered and I feel rough and tired all the time. Just when I feel like life is lifting, I get knocked down. But hey, that' life generally whether you have a Stoma or not. I got home and sorted myself out and spent some time with the boys. Nick was taking them to Alder Hey as Toby has a gastro appointment regarding him being sick on a daily basis bless him. I'm house sitting plus I need to see to all of our animals and Dez and Mandy.
Jane and I were messaging each other regarding a holiday in Jamaica where my Mama said I am likely to be shot. I am actually a trained Close Protection Offier (bodyguard in layman's terms) so that should be one thing tat I am good at doing, protecting myself and others but ma obviously doesn't think so. Anyway, in short, we are booking a holiday to Jamaica and I am very excited. I don't even care how they will cope with Dorothy, who cares, I AM GOING TO JAMAICAI!!!! Theo won't be going which is a shame but as long as he is happy with what he is doing that's okay with me.
I've just come off the phone from my daughter Abi and we had a lovely catch up. My nephews partner has literally just today had a little boy and we are thrilled. I am a tad envious as my sister now has two grandchildren where I have three Grand-pets but hey my time will come to have grandchildren. I told Abi about Jamaica and about Spain and Abi asked if I would take photos of me on the beach with Dorothy and I said that actually I think I will. I hadn't thought about that but I guess if I want holiday photo's then Dorothy will have to be in them. I had a real giggle with Abi and I talked about the wedding and children and horses and family and so on. It was lovely as Abi told me that she was proud of me and how I just get on with things but then I always feel that we have two choices. We get on with things or we crumble. I feel lucky to be alive, lucky to have the NHS, lucky to be able to enjoy life and still be abl to do the things I love to do and to enjoy things. Often we look at what we cannot do rather than what we can do, so I am going to permanently stay as having my glass half full rather than half empty. You can remind me of that the next time that I whinge!! It is true though, we are so lucky that we can do the things we can do and that. I look at my two little boys and they have a limited life expectancy plus they will go from being able to being unabe in that eventually all of their muscles will top working and they will be in a wheelchair full time and dependent on others for everything. How does that give me the right to whinge about anything. It is thought provoking isn't it! Anyway, stay healthy, stay happy and make every day count and most of all, don't take life too seriously. At every opportunity, laugh out loud with your head back adn your hands on your belly! XX
MONDAY 2ND OCTOBER 2017
Ola! Well i survived Spain or should I say that Spain survived us. It feels like it was months ago even though we have only been home 5 days and how the hell are we in October! Spain was great even though Dorothy objected to being abroad at times, she is such an attention seeker.
We set off at midnight, waking the boys up to travel to the airport. I had a huge bag of Dorothy supplies that Nick had sorted for me to take as extra hand luggage as medical supplies. Then there were 4 large suitcases, our hand luggage plus Dorothy's hand luggage and Toby's medical hand luggage as an extra plus a double wheelchair. Nightmare! This with the two boys between Nick and me. We got to the airport and Nick pushed all the luggage bless him and i pushed the boys in the wheelchair, we arrived well in time to get through security; Nick warned me not to make any wisecrack about my surname nor about checking his bags. I have been known to do this in the past but these days it's not a wise thing to do. We were ever so lucky because, as we had the wheelchair, we got through priority booking so it was fairly quick and the staff were lovely with the boys (they are incredibly cute though Kyle and Toby). When we went through where they check everything and I had to get every single spray out for Dorothy and even though I said to the chap checking me that they were medical kit he said I still had to get them all out. I explained that I have a colostomy and he asked the chap two people down from him very loudly if things still needed to be put separately for a Stoma. Rude, just rude and apparently they did! There was someone stood next to me bothering about his chuffing ipad that I wanted to strangle but I kept my cool. Meanwhile Nick was talking through gritted teeth at the chap that was making him take out every single bottle of milk for Toby, all 40 of them. I told him to try to chill and remember that they were just doing their job. then we wen through the scanner where we had to stand with our hands above our head and let the scanner do it's magic. I decided at this point to let the woman from security know that I had a Stoma so i tapped her on the arm and told her. She said thank you for letting her know and I was scanned then got out and all was fine UNTIL, the woman I had spoken to said that I needed to have my Stoma swabbed. WHAT?! I actually thought that they were going to dab something into Dorothy's bag of poo. Anyway, I was taken into a room with a curtain that didn't actually close fully and they swooped a swab stick around the whole of the Stoma bag and that was that. I asked if this would happen every time that I flew and the reply was epic. because I had told them that I had a Stoma they had to swab me. I asked what would have happened if I hadn't have told them about my Stoma and they said it would have shown up on the scan and they would have swabbed me. Right, so that would be called a no win situation. Guess I know what's coming for Jamaica then.
We finally were on our way and after all of the stress of wondering what the boys would be like they both slept, it was fab. We got to Ibiza at lunch time and it was all plain sailing until we got to the hotel. We were booked onto the first floor and there was no lift; that was so not going to work with a double wheelchair. Thomson's hadn't let them know that we had asked for a ground floor apartment so they spent ages trying to sort something out for us. It was sorted finally and the hotel staff were brilliant.It wasn't there fault..
Our holiday was amazing with great weather and a fab place to stay with lovely neighbours on each side. Dorothy worked overtime and was pooing like mad, on the second day she had to be changed seven times. it was fine though as our room was well geared up for changing her. We went into the city a couple of times where the toilets were rubbish for changing Dorothy and several times she leaked but I managed to just get on with it.
One night when the boys were spark out and Nick and I had a lovely evening sat out with drinks, we started to get 'intimate' and en we both almost at the same time smelled the smell and sure enough, Dorothy had leaked. Talk about a passion killer but Nick was fab and we managed to laugh about it. I had to go and clean up, change then try to rekindle the mood!
Another time we were on the glass bottomed boat with a few other people and the boys having a lovely time and Dorothy decided to work overtime and leak. Not good sat on a boat with others but I decided that it was the way it was and carried on enjoying my boat trip and then we went back to our apartment and I changed. It was all manageable.
I decided about halfway through the holiday that I was going to get a bikini, I always used to wear a bikini on holiday even though I've never felt happy about my body and shape. I always reckon that being unsociable I won't see people again after my holiday so what does it matter what I look like but that was more about my weight and shape. Nick and I went shopping with the boys and after several glasses of Sangria I found a bikini I liked. We went back to the hotel and w had a pool straight outside our room. We managed to get the boys down for a Siesta every day so they could stay up late at night so we laid in the sun on the loungers. Actually I laid on the lounger in the sun and Nick laid in the shade. Anyway, I decided to be really brave and I wore my new bikini with Dorothy on display and actually if I am am honest, it was liberating. Nick took a photo of me and I was more bothered about my blubber. I even put the photo onto Facebook.
Our holiday was amazing and the boys had an amazing time, our first family holiday abroad; we will definitely do it again. Both boys are like celebrities in the hotel and everywhere we go, people know them. Even when we were in the airport going home, people were coming up to Kyle, saying his name and chatting to him. It was fab.
Going home was easier in that I wasn't swabbed and it was much easier getting through security though we struggled getting onto the plane with the wheelchair as there was no Ambulift but we managed. However, Toby screamed for over an hour on the way back which was awful; awful for us and all of the other passengers but it was what it was. Luckily Dorothy didn't need changing on the flights going or coming back and for that I'm grateful as it would have been very difficult in such a small loo.
Since we got home, I have had an interview with Childline for a counsellor and there Dorothy decided to fart very loudly hence I had to explain to them about my Stoma. I use it as an ice breaker! Luckily my interview was a success. I'm presently house sitting and on Thursday my bestie Jane is arriving from Scotland then in the early hours of Saturday we will be setting off to Manchester for our flight to Jamaica. I have got another bikini and will brave the beaches there with it, I have warned Jane already who is cool with it. I have no idea how it's going to be. The flight is 10 hours so Dorothy will need changing for sure in that time. We are on the Dreamliner though so it should be okay. Again I have got the extra hand luggage allowance, it's worth phoning and asking about it so it means I don't have any worries plus if my case was to go missing I will still have all of my Dorothy kit with me.I intend doing loads of things in Jamaica, snorkelling, white water rafting if they have it locally and more. I will of course let you know how it all goes. I am a tad worried how it will be with Dorothy but hey, it's all a learning curve.
I'm house sitting at the moment for my dear friend Roley, she's away with family in Germany so I am with Pickle the dog in Roley's house. Tomorrow when she returns I am going to Huddersfield for two nights with Kyle to stay with my Mama then back hone for Jane arriving on Thursday before we fly the early hours of Saturday. I'm really excited. I worked for years for this and I know people think how could I leave Nick and the kids behind but do you know what. This is my life and life is short, to be lived and I am 51. I have worked hard most of my life so I am going to reap the rewards now. If it's not meant to be then Dorothy will give me hell.
Just before I leave you I just want to say a little something. When I started this blog I said that it didn't matter what age you were, if you were 90 or 19. If you had a colostomy then it was the same whatever age you are. But then a couple of weeks ago, a friend who I was at school with has a daughter who is just 18 years if age and she had a stoma. I felt devastated for her because I know that I have age on my side and with age comes confidence and not giving a shit as well as having a partner who I don't need to impress or 'court'. For my friends daughter, it is devastating as she hs her whole life in front of her and she will be wanting to meet someone and will have to wait until she feels it's getting serious then explain to him/her that she has a Stoma. How difficult is that as well as coming to terms with the fact that this is your life from the age of 18. I really feel for her. I know she will be fine as she has a great network of support around her but it just shows that whatever we have thrown at us, there is someone that is dealing with stuff a lot worse, harder and more traumatic. I find this hard day to day but if I was 18 then I have no idea how I would deal with this.
Anyway, we all have demons to deal with, hurdles to overcome and we all achieve in our own way, I think humour is mine as well as writing it down plus a sense of humour. I get a smile on my face and get on with it!!
I will let you know how Jamaica goes and the dreamliner with Dorothy. Stay happy xxx
FRIDAY 6TH OCTOBER 2017
Well today was all about getting nails and eyebrows done and making sure that we had all our packing sorted. Jane arrived last night as I arrived back from my dear Mama's house. we celebrated our impending holiday with a bottle or two. I hadn't seen Jane for months so it was so good to catch up, bless her she even babysat for us so Nick and I could go out for a meal before Jane and I jet off. I packed lots of Dorothy kit and had again sorted out extra hand luggage for my medical kit. I do get a tad fed up of carting all of Dorothy's wares around but at least I van travel knowing that I can change Dorothy rather than having a poo sat in my seat on the plane (just saying!).
SATURDAY 7TH OCTOBER 2018
Jane and I left very early on Saturday morning with all of our bags, feeling so excited. I admit to being nervous about such a long flight with Dorothy for if she leaked but I had all of my kit with me and what would be would be. We got through check in with no problems then it was onto security where I was certain that I would be searched and Dorothy would be swabbed again like when I was going to Spain but I was in for a lovely surprise, I went into the scanner machine thingy and told the woman there that I have a Stoma as I know it will show up on the scan. She said thank you for letting me know and then she did a quick search of me, telling me to let her know if she made me uncomfortable at any point. I went straight through then with no problems but what was so funny was Jane was busy taking her shoes off and being sent back and forth through the metal detector and being searched quite thoroughly. I joked that it was because she was with me so by association!
Jane and I weren't sat next to one another but we were both on aisle seats with Jane slightly behind me. Dorothy was actually very good and we were right next to the toilets which helped when I needed to change her. It was a little embarrassing to begin with taking my Dorothy kit to the loo with me but then I just thought what the hell, this is me. I also thought that next time I fly I will take a toilet bag to put my kit in as I will just look like I am going to freshen up, no as though it matters. I changed Dorothy 3 times but then it was just over 9 hours on the plane, we were delayed leaving as someone decided they weren't going to Jamaica but their luggage was already on the plane, it was fine though.
I managed to watch 2 films and an episode of First Dates which I love, I drank way too much and didn't sleep at all even though I really wanted to as I knew I would struggle at the end of the day when I was putting my watch back 6 hours. I was thrilled with Dorothy and how she'd been, then we had the coach transfer to our hotel which was nearly 2 hours because it was pouring down. We finally got to our hotel and it was amazing. We st and had our evening meal that was 2am in British time but 8pm Jamaican time, that's what played havoc with Dorothy, having her clock changed around. She couldn't get the hang of her meal times being different and also the more spicy food that I was eating and okay, yes the amount of cocktails I was drinking.
MONDAY 9TH OCTOBER 2017
Since I arrived in Jamaica I have spent most of the time in my bikini with Dorothy out on show and not one person has made me feel uncomfortable. When we are on the beach attached to the hotel, which is amazingly beautiful, there are some people that come selling things. they are lovely and friendly and sit and chat a while without any hassle to buy anything. Not one of them even looked at Dorothy and i never once felt like anyone was talking about Dorothy or me. It was so refreshing. The Jamaican people just want to see you having a good time and they accept everyone for who they are whatever colour, shape, ability and so on. I laughed so much during the week I was away and felt like the old me, pre-Dorothy.
Dorothy and I did so much whilst we were in Jamaica. We went riding today on ex-polo ponies around the mountains and through water and on the beach, it was good but I didn't like the way some of the staff treated the horses though they were well looked after. Dorothy really suffered the next day as we had ridden for quite a while plus we had travelled a while on the bus too so she felt badly done to. I snorkeled every day for hours in my bikini which was amazing (the snorkeling, certainly not me in my bikini). Dorothy has done so much on this holiday and I felt incredibly proud of both her and me for how far we have come. I went to Mexico a couple of years ago with Jane and we went out on the ocean to go snorkeling but my bowel was playing up so I ended up not going, I just watched Jane which was fine but a bit disappointing. I didn't snorkel at all on that holiday and I felt like I missed out on a lot because of a dodgy bowel and basically shitting myself. It wouldn't be a good look in the sea really, floating streaks of poo!
It is the first time that I have really genuinely felt thankful for Dorothy, we did so much together. We went snorkeling, on a long flight, riding in the mountains, on long bus journeys that I couldn't do before and we sun bathed in a bikini, went on a boat trip and went sea snorkelling, way out at sea with a load of people on a boat that we then had a party on. I hanged Dorothy in a small toilet but I did it and it felt so great to be doing the thing that I enjoy doing. I went to a beach party, I partied hard, went swimming, danced like a mad woman and more.
WEDNESDAY 11TH OCTOBER 2017
I won't bore you with all of the details of my holiday even if I can make people jealous. I am so lucky to have gone to Jamaica and its one of those places that I would go back to even though I always say the world is too big to go back to somewhere a second time.However I will tell you about a funny tale, well at least Jane and I laughed about it.
We booked a day trip to go the Dunns waterfall where we had lunch, a boat trip, snorkeling then we would climb the waterfall then have a party on the boat. It sounded fab so we booked it and were looking forward to it though I was anxious about how I would cope with Dorothy on a boat plus a bus journey and the snorkeling with a load of other people. We set off really early and spent over 3 hours on the bus that we had no idea would be so long. We also had a mad Canadian woman on the bus who whinged all the way to the waterfall and all the way back. I nearly killed her but kept it together.
I panicked a little on the bus with Dorothy but bless her I was so proud of her and she did good. I got to the boat and needed to change Dorothy and also get into my swimming gear, a costume for such a public event and going in the sea. It was a bit stressful but I managed and went snorkeling out at sea which was fab. We then got to Dunns waterfall and this was spectacular. This is where it gets weird/funny.
Not only have I had problems with a lack of control with my bowel but also my bladder. If I am going to be out for a long time then I wear a pad in my underwear in case I don't make it to the loo in time. After snorkeling, I went to get changed, not realising that I was meant to wear swimwear for the falls. I put on shorts, vest shirt plus underwear with a pad on too. Well we set off to do the Dunn's waterfall with me having no idea what to expect. Little did I realise that we were actually climbing up the falls getting soaked to the skin and all in a line holding hands. The falls is about 990 feet high and it's like rock climbing plus you wade through water at times.
Well, you can probably imagine, it was exhilarating, fantastic, a challenge, great fun, scary and an achievement. BUT!! I did that challenge with the equivalent of a 9lb baby in my shorts. The pad I was wearing was absolutely soaked through and I had nowhere to dump it plus I was terrified of it becoming unstuck and floating down past everyone that I was in a line with. As I jumped into deep water I was terrified that it would be there as I came up out of the water, shouting me. At least it stopped me focusing on Dorothy, she paled into insignificance ha.
I got tot the top of falls and eventually told Jane of the trauma I had suffered climbing up the falls. We really laughed about it and I managed to dump my 9lb baby in the toilets, I told Jane that I would have shouted 'oh no Jane, your pads come out' if it had come out. Jane takes everything on the chin. I still laugh and cringe about this and actually have been laughing out loud as I am typing this.
It has struck me throughout my Jamaican holiday that without Dorothy I wouldn't have been able to do half of the things that I have done, she has given me my life back and I am grateful to her for that. I feel like nothing is impossible and I want to do all the things that I had on my bucket list before all of my trouble started. I'm not sure if I mentioned but I will be doing a Skydive in March for Muscular Dystrophy UK for my boys, that's something on my bucket list. I will be putting begging sponsor requests on here so watch this space.
I travelled home on the 14th October and had a 9 hour journey where Dorothy was changed again 3 times but it was fine as we travelled overnight and most people were asleep. I look back to when Dorothy and me first became acquainted and we have come such a long way. It has been emotional but worth every minute because I have just had an awesome holiday with such experiences and I know that now there is nothing tostop me from doing whatever Dorothy and I want to do. bye for now peeps. xxx
Blubber, Dorothy and Me in a bikini!